They're tearing down the wallpaper
They're tearing away my skin
How do I keep them from seeing how deep
The cross-grained scars begin?
For the surface is just the beginning
Ensconced is the marring below
They say all I need is a new look to retrieve
What's been gone since long ago
I cannot give my opinion
For a wall, it has no tongue
But everyone knows that a coat of fresh paint won't replace
The flawlessness of the young.
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Very moving poem. Even though the reader is unsure of what issue the author is discussing, it is easily relatable to any individual's personal situation. In my previous poetry classes, I understand that this is what makes a great poet.
ReplyDeleteWith that said, there are a few lines that I feel could have a few words taken out so that it flows off the tongue more easily. The first two lines are very powerful.
The third line, and further throughout the poem, I feel might be stronger if you stopped referring to they or them. Maybe consider "How do I keep from exposing how deep". I feel that this makes more of a line instead of a sentence.
I just think that overall, alot of words can be taken out to really make this impactful.
I really enjoyed this poem.
I enjoyed reading this poem. I could not quite grasp what you were exactly trying to say, but I could make up my own interpretation of it very well.
ReplyDeleteYou started off very strong and got my attention. It makes me think that you are talking about somebody, perhaps yourself, and the wall is what you use as a shield from the people around you.
I feel like the wall "that has no tongue" is the image that you give off to people, and when you said in line11, "But everyone knows that a coat of fresh paint won't replace", you are talking about how everyone has a wall, or a characteristic about oneself, that no paint or image can cover. It is what makes you, you.
I enjoyed reading this, but my only problem is that it is hard to interpret. If you are trying to have the reader interpret the meaning for themselves, then hats off, but if there is one solitary meaning, you might try to add another stanza to better get your point across.
Good job